Such Great Heights

My roommate mentioned how sometimes you need to tread lightly with some short people because they can be sensitive about being short. I felt like she was leaving out another special group of people that are often overlooked in society (although not literally overlooked like short people sometimes are, because tall people stick out like sore thumbs). Yes, the group to which I am referring to, and to which I belong, is tall people. I have issues with my height, but society doesn't deem it necessary to tread lightly when dealing with me, as they do with those individuals with Napoleon complexes.

As a member of this exclusive club which only passes its genes on to their own children (we’re selfish like that…) I can attest that we are indeed looked up to. Which is great in theory, but then the looking up becomes staring and then gawking. Which is just awkward, and let’s face it girl in the public library who gawked at me with your mouth formed in a perfect “O,” just rude. Tall people have feelings too, and being stared at in this manner is a crushing blow to one's already fragile self-esteem.

Also, tall people have a greater chance of bumping our heads, such as when we are entering or exiting cars, or while passing through low doorways, injuries which are easier for short people to avoid. Its a hard life we tall people lead.

We are often asked to retrieve items on tall shelves for vertically challenged people. So, you should just feel sorry for us no matter what, because we are stared at, we are at higher risk of a head injury (probably even more so than a football player because football players get to leave the field, but I’ll never stop being tall) and having to retrieve items for short people is pretty much just the same as telling me that I have only slightly more value and purpose in this life as a chair or step stool.

Also, as the voice for tall single women, you should feel especially sorry for us because A) everyone assumes we played basketball even though it is fairly obvious that some of us can barely walk without causing physical harm to her person, and thus are not coordinated enough to have ever played sports (ahem...not that that bears any resemblance to me, I loved to make all of those touchdowns when I played basketball in high school), and B) apparently tall guys like to feel especially tall as they all seem to go after the girls who are only considered tall enough to ride roller coasters when they are wearing their six inch heels.

I like being tall. I just don't like how everyone around me is so much shorter...Personally I attribute my height to being a more evolved person. Some of my former roommates weren't too keen on this scientifically proven fact, but that could just be due to the fact that they are less evolved than me.