There's one in every ward. You know the person, the one who when they raise their hand in Sunday School or Relief Society the rest of the group collectively rolls their eyes and grits their teeth. This is the person who constantly comments during lessons. Not only do they comment frequently, but their comments are looong and take up half the lesson. And more than half time their comments are so off the mark that you can't help but feel embarrassed for these people (even though they are so socially unaware that they would never be embarrassed for themselves).
I tend to err in the other direction when it comes to commenting by not commenting at all. This is due in part to extreme shyness, but also because I do not ever want to be the person who makes the awkward, or long, or frequent comments.
Tonight I discovered that the Resident Commenter in my ward signed up for the same Institute class as me. And bonus...her long tangential comments aren't just reserved for Sunday!
I'm a magnet for crazy people. My blog documents my close encounters of the crazy kind.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Quack, Quack
I
love ducks. Now I know this is random,
and for a self-proclaimed animal hater, it is extremely odd, but I love ducks.
I
don’t know why I love ducks so much, but I’ve always liked ducks: My mother
would take me to the park to feed ducks growing up, Daisy Duck was my nighttime
protector and closest confident for more years than I’d care to admit. I also grew up watching DuckTales and
Darkwing Duck and Daffy Duck and Ernie with his ever present Rubber Duck
(squeak, squeak).
One of the perks of my new condo is that
the area has a lot of waterfowl. One
morning I found a duck waddling around my parking lot. I named him Roger. He made my day. I carefully backed my car up, making sure not to
crush Roger and the rest of the day I was happy.
Recently I discovered the book ’10 Little
Rubber Ducks’ by Eric Carle, which is not only based on actual events, but is
an adorable story At work, my coworker
and I used to draw on post-it notes with hilighters, and we often drew ducks
for each other…She even convinced her boyfriend, who owns a local pizza place
to name a pizza after me: The Allison Duck (we had both been trying to get him
to put duck on one of his pizza creations, he compromised with the name, but no
duck, although I’m kind of glad now that I didn’t eat any of my cute friends.).
Every time I see a duck my affinity for these fine feathered friends is
reaffirmed. I
think one of the reasons why I love ducks so much is that they are always
cute. Seriously, has anyone seen an ugly
duck (Amazingly I didn’t even catch that I almost quoted a Hans Christian
Anderson title, yet even then the ugly duckling was in fact a baby swan)? From ducklings to full sized ducks, ducks are
super cute. No other animal that I can think of can boast cute young and old.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Things I Will Never Understand
1. How Planes Fly.
Sure, I get the principles of lift, thrust, drag and wieight. Theoretically flight makes sense. But I'm much more familiar with gravity--which is why it is hard for me to believe that mid-flight, the plane is NOT going to plummet to the Earth.
2. Pretty Woman
I do not understand how this is considered a romantic movie (Ok, the end scene where Richard Gere climbs the fire escape is pretty romantic, but I still cannot get over the whole prostitution thing...)
3. Shoes that have the individual toes
I don't care how good they are for running, NO ONE should ever wear these monstrosities.
4. Children with smartphones.
Really?! Your 3 year old needs an I-phone to Skype with you?
5. The name the Berenstain Bears chose for their third child.
You remember those moral-teaching bears from childhood: Mama, Papa, Brother and, Sister Bear? Well, while browsing through some books at a store a while back I noticed that the Bear family had grown. Papa and Mama Bear had a new bundle of joy, and named it....Honey. Yes, Honey. Now, typically I would have no objection to a bear being named Honey, but in this particular family where the two oldest kids are literally named, Brother and Sister, why isn't this new addition named Baby Bear?
Sure, I get the principles of lift, thrust, drag and wieight. Theoretically flight makes sense. But I'm much more familiar with gravity--which is why it is hard for me to believe that mid-flight, the plane is NOT going to plummet to the Earth.
2. Pretty Woman
I do not understand how this is considered a romantic movie (Ok, the end scene where Richard Gere climbs the fire escape is pretty romantic, but I still cannot get over the whole prostitution thing...)
3. Shoes that have the individual toes
I don't care how good they are for running, NO ONE should ever wear these monstrosities.
4. Children with smartphones.
Really?! Your 3 year old needs an I-phone to Skype with you?
5. The name the Berenstain Bears chose for their third child.
You remember those moral-teaching bears from childhood: Mama, Papa, Brother and, Sister Bear? Well, while browsing through some books at a store a while back I noticed that the Bear family had grown. Papa and Mama Bear had a new bundle of joy, and named it....Honey. Yes, Honey. Now, typically I would have no objection to a bear being named Honey, but in this particular family where the two oldest kids are literally named, Brother and Sister, why isn't this new addition named Baby Bear?
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