Driving Miss Roommate

I am certifiably insane and have no spine. These facts have not been verified by any sort of medical or psychological professional, but as far as self-diagnoses go this one is far more accurate than the diagnoses that hypochondriacs discover through the aid of Web MD. I know that this self diagnosis is accurate because I constantly find myself volunteering to do various things which I don’t actually want to do and then get stuck doing things I’d rather not be doing. And I know that this is a symptom of my insanity because I KEEP DOING IT! And I can’t stop, even as the words spill from my lips I’m thinking, “Wow, that was a really stupid thing to offer to do. I hope that they don’t take me up on that offer.” And yet I continue to make offers to help people. (Don’t get me wrong, I love to help people and service is great, but my offers go over and beyond the call of duty when it comes to helping people, getting me into awkward, sticky situations). The spineless part is because I can never say no (ok I can say no to really bad stuff like drugs and other stupid things like that, but I am a roommate pushover and I avoid confrontation with people like the plague.)

So, I am insane and spineless which is how I came to teach my roommate how to drive. My roommates drive me crazy, so it makes sense for me to return the favor and teach them how to drive….a car. My roommate is from India and never learned how to drive. I’ve lived with her for about a week, and we are still getting to know each other. She was talking about how she had her learner’s permit and how hard it was to get people to take her out driving, which is apparently like crack to her: she loves to drive. She told me that her boyfriend and sister refuse to take her out driving (um, excuse me, but that’s a major red flag that you need to ditch that guy who won’t take you out driving because he “likes his car .”) and so she’s been asking pretty much everyone she knows to take her out driving. There was an awkward pause in the conversation at this point, and her not-asking me to take her driving was extremely loud in that silence, so I squeaked out an offer to take her out driving, while at the same time praying silently that she wouldn’t take me up on the offer. Which is how I found myself out on the busy streets around sundown the next night mentally and physically bracing myself as I let this near-stranger and extremely new driver behind the wheel of my car.

Actually, it went very well. My car received no damage, and my nerves will eventually repair themselves (right?). The experience wasn’t too bad. I only “pushed" my imaginary brake pedal three times, attempting to stop the car as I sat petrified in the passenger seat. It was actually kind of fun and a good bonding experience. While it obviously wasn’t a good opportunity to talk, the many near-death experiences which we survived together helped me to feel more comfortable being around her and I feel more optimistic about this new roommate situation.