If I was technologically savvy I would have had a seemingly blank post with a link at the end that would lead you to the text of this post, but alas I am technologically impaired and so my cute little joke to go along with the title of this post will not come to pass.
The silent treatment is great in theory. And actually works quite well for some people, who can convey years’ worth of anger and resentment into literally nothing at all (well maybe some glares and other petty behavior). When I was younger I would get really angry over really important issues like global warming and scumbaggy politicians, NOT over minor, unimportant things such as somebody sitting in my spot on the couch after I had specifically proclaimed, before going to the kitchen, “I get my spot back!” My attempts at the silent treatment seem ridiculous now for several reasons including the fact that apparently my sisters are DEAF as my spot was almost always occupied when I returned, as well as for the fact that it is almost impossible for me not to talk. And it’s not that I have that much to say, and I truly do believe that sometimes silence is golden, rather it’s like when you’re told not to think of something and you can’t stop thinking of that particular thing (don’t think of a purple elephant). The same thing happens to me when I attempt to give someone the silent treatment—I suddenly have so much to say to them.
Anyways the reason that I’m writing this is that I’m pretty sure my sister is gi ving me the silent treatment, although its hard to tell for sure since we live in different places and her not responding to my text could just be because she didn’t hear the phone, which is ALWAYS on her person. But I just kind of feel like it’s petty and lame and really stupid if she IS giving me the silent treatment.
I’ve discovered that my compulsive need to talk to someone while I am giving them silent treatment also works in reverse: I really feel the need to talk to her, and mainly just because I believe she is indeed giving me the silent treatment. Ugh. I really am insane.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Driving Miss Roommate
I am certifiably insane and have no spine. These facts have not been verified by any sort of medical or psychological professional, but as far as self-diagnoses go this one is far more accurate than the diagnoses that hypochondriacs discover through the aid of Web MD. I know that this self diagnosis is accurate because I constantly find myself volunteering to do various things which I don’t actually want to do and then get stuck doing things I’d rather not be doing. And I know that this is a symptom of my insanity because I KEEP DOING IT! And I can’t stop, even as the words spill from my lips I’m thinking, “Wow, that was a really stupid thing to offer to do. I hope that they don’t take me up on that offer.” And yet I continue to make offers to help people. (Don’t get me wrong, I love to help people and service is great, but my offers go over and beyond the call of duty when it comes to helping people, getting me into awkward, sticky situations). The spineless part is because I can never say no (ok I can say no to really bad stuff like drugs and other stupid things like that, but I am a roommate pushover and I avoid confrontation with people like the plague.)
So, I am insane and spineless which is how I came to teach my roommate how to drive. My roommates drive me crazy, so it makes sense for me to return the favor and teach them how to drive….a car. My roommate is from India and never learned how to drive. I’ve lived with her for about a week, and we are still getting to know each other. She was talking about how she had her learner’s permit and how hard it was to get people to take her out driving, which is apparently like crack to her: she loves to drive. She told me that her boyfriend and sister refuse to take her out driving (um, excuse me, but that’s a major red flag that you need to ditch that guy who won’t take you out driving because he “likes his car .”) and so she’s been asking pretty much everyone she knows to take her out driving. There was an awkward pause in the conversation at this point, and her not-asking me to take her driving was extremely loud in that silence, so I squeaked out an offer to take her out driving, while at the same time praying silently that she wouldn’t take me up on the offer. Which is how I found myself out on the busy streets around sundown the next night mentally and physically bracing myself as I let this near-stranger and extremely new driver behind the wheel of my car.
Actually, it went very well. My car received no damage, and my nerves will eventually repair themselves (right?). The experience wasn’t too bad. I only “pushed" my imaginary brake pedal three times, attempting to stop the car as I sat petrified in the passenger seat. It was actually kind of fun and a good bonding experience. While it obviously wasn’t a good opportunity to talk, the many near-death experiences which we survived together helped me to feel more comfortable being around her and I feel more optimistic about this new roommate situation.
So, I am insane and spineless which is how I came to teach my roommate how to drive. My roommates drive me crazy, so it makes sense for me to return the favor and teach them how to drive….a car. My roommate is from India and never learned how to drive. I’ve lived with her for about a week, and we are still getting to know each other. She was talking about how she had her learner’s permit and how hard it was to get people to take her out driving, which is apparently like crack to her: she loves to drive. She told me that her boyfriend and sister refuse to take her out driving (um, excuse me, but that’s a major red flag that you need to ditch that guy who won’t take you out driving because he “likes his car .”) and so she’s been asking pretty much everyone she knows to take her out driving. There was an awkward pause in the conversation at this point, and her not-asking me to take her driving was extremely loud in that silence, so I squeaked out an offer to take her out driving, while at the same time praying silently that she wouldn’t take me up on the offer. Which is how I found myself out on the busy streets around sundown the next night mentally and physically bracing myself as I let this near-stranger and extremely new driver behind the wheel of my car.
Actually, it went very well. My car received no damage, and my nerves will eventually repair themselves (right?). The experience wasn’t too bad. I only “pushed" my imaginary brake pedal three times, attempting to stop the car as I sat petrified in the passenger seat. It was actually kind of fun and a good bonding experience. While it obviously wasn’t a good opportunity to talk, the many near-death experiences which we survived together helped me to feel more comfortable being around her and I feel more optimistic about this new roommate situation.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Surrounded by Crazy
I heard a bit by a comedian on Comedy Central where he asked the audience something to the effect of, “Have you ever felt like you’ve met enough people?” My daily answer to this joking inquiry is a resounding ‘yes!” I definitely feel like I have met enough people.
In the past when I have discussed this with some individuals they have responded with, “but you haven’t met your husband yet.” To which I’ve replied that I’ll just have to sort back through all the jerks in my life and hope “the one” has changed (or hope that I am acquainted with this hypothetical future husband only in passing…because really there are so few people in the recesses of my memory that could even qualify as somewhat acceptable husband material).
To these somewhat (by which I mean totally) negative responses to my complaining about how I am sick of people and never ever ever ever want to meet another human being, I’ve decided to clarify that I am sick of meeting CRAZY people (although experience shows that crazy people make up approximately 99.99999999999% of this world’s population so this correction is really not all that helpful.).
Inarguably, I definitely have my own brand of crazy. Unfortunately my brand of crazy appears to be petty and jealous and doesn’t get along well with most other types of crazy. My crazy, thus, would rather be a hermit than deal with all the other types of crazy out there. Since that’s kind of Unabomber-ish, and unrealistic, (at least until I can save up enough to buy a mountain cabin … whatever, if I was going to survive as a hermit there would definitely have to be some sort of Caribbean beach involved.) I’ve decided to create this blog to document my various run-ins with crazy (my own as well as the craziness of other people and events). Mostly this blog will be about documenting my random thoughts and venting about my strange encounters with human kind… because let’s be honest I am surrounded by crazy.
In the past when I have discussed this with some individuals they have responded with, “but you haven’t met your husband yet.” To which I’ve replied that I’ll just have to sort back through all the jerks in my life and hope “the one” has changed (or hope that I am acquainted with this hypothetical future husband only in passing…because really there are so few people in the recesses of my memory that could even qualify as somewhat acceptable husband material).
To these somewhat (by which I mean totally) negative responses to my complaining about how I am sick of people and never ever ever ever want to meet another human being, I’ve decided to clarify that I am sick of meeting CRAZY people (although experience shows that crazy people make up approximately 99.99999999999% of this world’s population so this correction is really not all that helpful.).
Inarguably, I definitely have my own brand of crazy. Unfortunately my brand of crazy appears to be petty and jealous and doesn’t get along well with most other types of crazy. My crazy, thus, would rather be a hermit than deal with all the other types of crazy out there. Since that’s kind of Unabomber-ish, and unrealistic, (at least until I can save up enough to buy a mountain cabin … whatever, if I was going to survive as a hermit there would definitely have to be some sort of Caribbean beach involved.) I’ve decided to create this blog to document my various run-ins with crazy (my own as well as the craziness of other people and events). Mostly this blog will be about documenting my random thoughts and venting about my strange encounters with human kind… because let’s be honest I am surrounded by crazy.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
How Puzzling!
Dear Coworkers,
I know that this job at the residential treatment center just recently started, and so we have not yet had the opportunity to fully get acquainted. Despite this I feel like I have not presented myself as a complete idiot, and thus am puzzled by why you felt that I needed to be instructed on how to look for unique shapes to fit together when doing a puzzle. I know how to put puzzles together. I know of very few people who do not. The reason that I was searching and searching and occasionally finding the correct piece, wasn't evidence of my level of intelligence, but rather was the result of it being nearly midnight, on a night when I hadn't slept very well, or very much, the previous four nights. Thanks, though, for obvioulsy thinking the best of me, and for treating me like I am five (No girl need beauty creams or youth serums when she has people like you in her life who will forever be treating her like an incompetent child). Also thank you for being oblivious to the fact that the other coworker was working at a slower pace than me, so that I could be the only one privy to your very helpful puzzle advice.
Sincerely,
Your New Friend, who almost shoved puzzle pieces down your throat last night
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Childhood is Calling Me Back
I'm graduating with my Bachelors of Science in May. While I am super excited to graduate, I can't help but wonder, "how the heck did I get this old?!!!!" and "what am I supposed to do with my life now?!!" These questions mostly rest on the fact that I do not feel like an adult. I've been through some life events that I always thought would mean I was an adult, including voting, having my 21st birthday, paying rent and bills, going to college, making my own meals, etc. And yet, I still don't consider myself an adult. I do adult things, and the government views me as an adult, and yet I don't feel grown up. Does that come with a real career or perhaps marriage and kids?
I feel like a giant kid living on my own--which definitely has its perks because the more grown-up activities I do (like work and bills and holding my tongue) the less I want to be grown-up. I wish I could go back in time and slap my little child-self for ever wishing to be a grown-up. Being a kid rocked: I got to play all the time, school was easy, I had recess, there was no work, I got a bedtime story and got tucked into bed every night, and my mom took care of me when I was sick (One of my most horrible life-experiences was when I got the flu my freshman year of college and my mom wasn't there to take care of me. I felt like I was dying, and my roommates couldn't have cared less!), and there were no hard, life-changing decisions that I had to make. Bottom line: I wish I could be a kid forever (actually a kid-adult hybrid because certain adult privileges like driving and no curfew would only enhance the eternal childhood that I'm envisioning).
Dave Barry has a quote that says, "You can only be young once, but you can always be immature." So, even though I look like an adult, and begrudgingly do some adult tasks like laundry, I can always be immature to ensure that I don't ever fully become an adult. Granted, this is not a totally original idea as many others also appear to be following this path back to childhood through immaturity.
I feel like a giant kid living on my own--which definitely has its perks because the more grown-up activities I do (like work and bills and holding my tongue) the less I want to be grown-up. I wish I could go back in time and slap my little child-self for ever wishing to be a grown-up. Being a kid rocked: I got to play all the time, school was easy, I had recess, there was no work, I got a bedtime story and got tucked into bed every night, and my mom took care of me when I was sick (One of my most horrible life-experiences was when I got the flu my freshman year of college and my mom wasn't there to take care of me. I felt like I was dying, and my roommates couldn't have cared less!), and there were no hard, life-changing decisions that I had to make. Bottom line: I wish I could be a kid forever (actually a kid-adult hybrid because certain adult privileges like driving and no curfew would only enhance the eternal childhood that I'm envisioning).
Dave Barry has a quote that says, "You can only be young once, but you can always be immature." So, even though I look like an adult, and begrudgingly do some adult tasks like laundry, I can always be immature to ensure that I don't ever fully become an adult. Granted, this is not a totally original idea as many others also appear to be following this path back to childhood through immaturity.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Stupid Signs and Slogans
Its rush week at my university. Normally, I could care less to see all of the hand-painted plywood signs that sprout up all around campus. Granted, they are a tacky eyesore, and I do have some issues with the Greek system, but usually they don't bother me. Not this year though. This year the signs are particularly stupid, and thus something that I cannot simply overlook. The members of Greek system have been stereotyped as stupid, and this year it looks like they were trying to prove that stereotype to be correct.
One sorority in particular has a new slogan: "Lucky to be in Alpha Phi." Really? That's the slogan you picked? These girls PAY every semester to be in your sorority, I don't think that luck has all that much to do with it! This is like saying that having to pay a speeding ticket is lucky! I guess that all of the cash I dropped on textbooks and tuition and rent this semester has made me one lucky girl!
Another sorority decided to post this on one of their signs: "Keep your friends close and your sisters closer." I didn't have a problem with this at first, but having passed it daily for the past three days, I've decided that they are advertising that the 'sisters' are actually enemies (the word used in the real saying that they've stolen from because they lack all creativity), which I guess is a very real possiblity since girls can be very catty, and living in the same house and going after the same guys could make them enemies (or I guess the new term is frenemies ;) ). But why they thought that advertising that their sisters are catty and backstabbing was a good idea is beyond me.
The first sign that really got my ire up was for a fraternity. The sign states, "In 1776 all men were created equal, in 1869 that all changed." I'm just going to pick on their word-choice right now, although I do take exception to their implication that being a member of their fraternity makes them better than other people (especially since I've met several of these 'brothers' and know for a fact that its not true.). While it is true that in 1776 Thomas Jefferson penned the immortal words, "all men are created equal," those words did not create equality, they just stated that men were created equal, which means they were created equal from the time of Adam, not since 1776. I take this error to be ironic seeing as how the fraternity, on the same sign, implied their superiority-and yet at the same time, by this error, were able to show their inferiority.
This may seem nitpicky, but these sororities and fraternities are advertising for new recruits-and I for one have definitely been negatively impacted by these signs and would not be able to join up with someone who is associated with such stupidity, and while I am pretty neurotic and nitpicky, other people who are are actually potential pledges might have these same opinions, and so the Greek system should take extra care during Rush Week to not appear as stupid as they usually do during the rest of the year.
One sorority in particular has a new slogan: "Lucky to be in Alpha Phi." Really? That's the slogan you picked? These girls PAY every semester to be in your sorority, I don't think that luck has all that much to do with it! This is like saying that having to pay a speeding ticket is lucky! I guess that all of the cash I dropped on textbooks and tuition and rent this semester has made me one lucky girl!
Another sorority decided to post this on one of their signs: "Keep your friends close and your sisters closer." I didn't have a problem with this at first, but having passed it daily for the past three days, I've decided that they are advertising that the 'sisters' are actually enemies (the word used in the real saying that they've stolen from because they lack all creativity), which I guess is a very real possiblity since girls can be very catty, and living in the same house and going after the same guys could make them enemies (or I guess the new term is frenemies ;) ). But why they thought that advertising that their sisters are catty and backstabbing was a good idea is beyond me.
The first sign that really got my ire up was for a fraternity. The sign states, "In 1776 all men were created equal, in 1869 that all changed." I'm just going to pick on their word-choice right now, although I do take exception to their implication that being a member of their fraternity makes them better than other people (especially since I've met several of these 'brothers' and know for a fact that its not true.). While it is true that in 1776 Thomas Jefferson penned the immortal words, "all men are created equal," those words did not create equality, they just stated that men were created equal, which means they were created equal from the time of Adam, not since 1776. I take this error to be ironic seeing as how the fraternity, on the same sign, implied their superiority-and yet at the same time, by this error, were able to show their inferiority.
This may seem nitpicky, but these sororities and fraternities are advertising for new recruits-and I for one have definitely been negatively impacted by these signs and would not be able to join up with someone who is associated with such stupidity, and while I am pretty neurotic and nitpicky, other people who are are actually potential pledges might have these same opinions, and so the Greek system should take extra care during Rush Week to not appear as stupid as they usually do during the rest of the year.
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